Thursday, July 9, 2009

How long are you going to let him cry?

It's been a slow week, I'm in a bit of a rut...nothing like a trip to Kohl's to get my blood boiling!

We went to the Dollar Tree for party favors (Ben's bday is soon) and Kohl's is next door and they are having 70% off. Well, me being the wise mom gave the kids $1 and stopped in Kohl's first telling the kids to behave or they would loose their $1 and trip to "the one dollar store" (as Ben calls it). Mean? maybe and I'm sure the make-up counter lady at Kohl's would agree....

Bowen starts crying and continues for a little while. Now, I fed and changed him before we left the house so he's just getting tired...OH, and he's really teething lately = crabby baby Bo.
This lady (an employee) walks up to me and asks me "Is your baby okay?"
"yeah, he's fine" I tell her.
In hindsight, I really think she's probably never had a baby...otherwise she would know babies cry...sometimes they're tired, hungry, teething, poopy - sometimes just because.

But as she's walking off she asks "how long are you going to let him cry?"
EXCUSE ME!! No she didn't.
So I stop my head from spinning and said "I don't think it's any of your business".
"Well, he was crying when you walked in the door" she says.
He wasn't and I know this because I'M HIS MOTHER and I can hear him just like everyone else, I'm not immune.

So I say "I'm his mother...I know his habits, and temperament so why don't you leave the parenting to me?"

If she responded, I don't know what she said because I was on fire!

I gather my kids to leave then thought nope, she needs to be reported.
Luckily there was a group of about 4-5 managers standing in the aisle so I approach and tell them what happened.
To end the story...they apologized over & over, I was escorted to customer service, a cashier was called up for me and they gave me an additional 20% off my purchase (which was only a couple of things and I was about to out them back).

And by the time I left, Bowen was NOT crying I asked if he was just trying to get mommy a discount and he smiled.

Let me also say when a child is in danger/pain I would also step in...not Bowen's case and I think in my rant I might have mentioned he's just tired.

I'm looking forward to hearing comments and even if you think she was correct -- that I shouldn't let my baby's okay to tell me.
I know not everyone supports crying it out/self soothing methods.
And I'll give you Dr. Wade's phone number because she told me over 2 months ago it's okay to let him cry :p

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Allison said...

OH my goodness!What is wrong with people?? And yep, it seems I've met several people lately that have never had a baby either.

I would have done exactly what you did too. A lot of times I just let Jenna cry. I think sometimes trying to get her to stop just makes it all worse. And yes, I would have definitely told a manager too. I can't believe she said that to you!!!

Cindi said...

Yes, like he has an "off" switch! or as if I were making him cry.

Trisha said...

Holy freak! Good for you for standing up for yourself.

Man, you've got some good out and about stories. Maybe I should get out and about more often. :)

--Leann-- said...

I would have done the exact same thing. My dad actually has to leave the house occasionally when he visits. He cant stand the crying, and I dont tend give in to it.

The salesperson obviously hasnt been around babies. And even so, it was not her place to say anything to you.

I'm so sorry that happened. It's never fun being the mom with the crying baby and to have someone make that comment gets our mommy guilt really going. (I had a similar thing happen in a restaurant, only it was a customer who made a rude comment. and actually asked the manager to have us banned from the restaurant! it was beyond ridiculous.)

Kira said...

Wow! I was just shocked reading your story. As a new mom, my son Jackson just turned 3 months old, I don't know what I would have said. I feel like everyone judges mom's when their kids cry in public, like we have a magic potion to give them that makes them quiet just for their benefit.

WE recently took Jack out dinner and Dad accidentally forgot his bottle of milk in the car. While we were searching the diaper bag, Jack was pissed and letting us know it. I actually got up and walked his into the bathroom because I could feel the stares!

Dion said...

Obviously, she doesn't have a clue!

Jen said...

Oh, I'm a believer in letting kids cry. I once read about how it's their outlet for letting off steam because it's really the only thing they can do. It made total sense! I also let my kids cry themselves to sleep to sleep train. Best thing I ever did.

Mom to the 3rd Power said...

Sheesh! She obviously has not been around children or sometimes if they are older, they forget about how much children actually cry. You did the right thing-you know your baby better than anyone. Never forget that!

Melisa said...

Oh my. It is one thing to step in when you see a child being handled roughly, but another thing entirely when they are just crying. I get so many stares when Calet is pitching her 2 yr old fits and wailing. What, you want me to give in and give her what she wants because she is crying? I don't think so! Go ahead and hate me for ruining your perfect shopping atmosphere. But a baby is another thing entirely. Hello! Babies cry! That's what they do! When Calet was born we told the boys that all she's going to do is eat, sleep, poop and cry.

I'm so glad you said something. You go girl!

daniella said...

Oh, heavens! You're right, the salesperson who approached you probably doesn't have kids and has no clue (been there, done that). Not until I became a mom that I found out some babies cry more than others and that most (if not all) babies use crying as a self-soothing method. Shoot, I use it as a self-soothing method!!! Ever want to just have a good cry just because?

And, thanks for coming by and letting me know the true deal on the Moby Wrap. I still think it's kind of bulky, but if it does the job then who cares.

Blessings to you! Your family is ADORABLE! You certainly don't look old enough to have three kids.

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